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Archive for July, 2016

Feeling stuck

July 19th, 2016 at 09:56 am

I am feeling stuck in my job. The university job was always supposed to be a stepping stone, and I haven't been here a year yet (10 months) but I am ready to move on. Part of it is on me. I do need more direction than I am getting and I need to be more responsible in creating my own projects and seeing them through. But part of it is that the work just isn't satisfying or fulfilling, and there isn't enough work.

I asked one of my bosses for more work and that has been good. I have a few, varied projects I can work on and a couple of them will take a couple of weeks. I need to ask the other boss for some work to do but he has been pretty clear that he doesn't want to have to give me things to do. He is very hands off.

One thing that really bothers me, and I don't know if it should, is that both my bosses refer to me as their assistant. I am a Reference Assistant. I assist with the collections, but I'm not anybody's personal assistant. I feel like when they call me their assistant when asking people to contact me with the questions they have that I am not taken as seriously. This might be on me to get over, though.

I have been looking for other jobs, and even interviewed at my dream job at the rare books library. I knew from the moment I sat down in the interview they were only interviewing me as a courtesy, but I did the best I could anyway. Obviously, I didn't get it but I hope I left a positive impression in case something opens in the future.

I am bound by geography. Other library systems in the area don't pay as well, so I'll take a pay cut PLUS have a 2 or more hour commute a day. Currently, I walk to work. I am more seriously considering looking for jobs in a 3 hour radius and renting a room or a studio apartment and to come home on the weekends. It's not ideal, but I am so unhappy at work that it is bleeding into home. If I could accept that I have a job that doesn't satisfy me then maybe I could focus on just what makes me happy at home, but I am very much someone who depends on my job to make me happy.

Financially things are going well, but I want to do better. We are heading to visit my family soon and have agreed to do super cheap things (beaching, swimming, hiking, etc) instead of more costly fun things. We'll have a great time, I am sure, but there were several things I wanted to do that we just can't afford. I told N & Kid we aren't going next summer, that we'll visit N's dad for a week instead. I'll go back for a couple long weekends but that is obligation visiting and not really vacation. (Not that I won't have a great time with my family.)

The next adult thing to take care of is setting up a will. I called my family lawyer but he wants me to find someone in the state I live in. So I have a couple people in mind. I know I can do it myself, probably, but I feel like I have just enough weirdness in my finances that it might be better to pay someone to get the job done right.