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Rough weekend, future planning.

February 16th, 2016 at 05:18 pm

I've been having a rough go the last couple of days. The five year anniversary of my mom dying is rapidly approaching and it is hitting so hard, so early this year. I visited N at work on Friday and he left the room for a couple minutes to actually work and when he came back he saw my eyes teary and asked what was wrong and I just started bawling that I missed my mom. Nothing triggered it. Yesterday I couldn't even put on a bra. Not that I am endowed enough to absolutely need one, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I slept walked through full time job then agonized over PT job and finally called off sick. Then I spent the rest of the evening eating my emotions and watching Six Feet Under. I woke up feeling like a new person. Well, at least one that could accomplish the basics.

I did splurge on coffee and a donut at work yesterday. A whopping 2.68. BUT I ate the leftovers (coffee rubbed pork tenderloin with a blueberry vinaigrette) that were a day or so away from getting thrown out.

Over the weekend I made a fruit crumble with some blueberries that needed to be used, some apples that we weren't eating fast enough and pomegranate seeds that needed to be used or thrown out. For the crumble I used Dutch windmill cookies that we've had for awhile with almond slivers that we've also had for awhile. Delicious! And I used up the avocados in avocado egg salad.

The milk soured Saturday morning but I wasn't grocery shopping until Sunday. Plus there wasn't enough time to get any before i went to work. So I looked in my cupboard and found a can of coconut milk. Not my favorite in my coffee but definitely usable! And I didn't have to spend any extra money!

I bought a ton of groceries this weekend and paid less than $20 thanks to a Sam's Club gift card from Swagbucks and $20 in Valentine's day money from my godmother.

Even though things are rough emotionally I am trying to take the wins where I can get them and stay on track to accomplish my goals.

First goal is to be able to quit PT job. I know part of why I haven't been able to talk myself down is that I have zero time alone.

Long long term goal is get us in a position to buy a place walking distance from the beach in California. We're talking 10+ year plan. I cannot stand the winter anymore and so desperately want to move back. But we've got things tying us here and I love my town most of the time. Winter is just getting old Smile I think the 10 year plan is possible, but it does require lots of focus for extended periods of time. And maybe we will change our mind where we want to go. We also love the Denver area. Not quite as expensive as coastal CA, but still waaaay more expensive than our little midwest town. But wherever we end up, it will be easier if we start planning and saving now.

3 Responses to “Rough weekend, future planning.”

  1. VS_ozgirl Says:

    Sorry to hear you're missing your mom, be gentle with yourself - one year is a milestone and can be so hard to deal with. And I hope you can quit your PT job too, it's too many hours to do longterm.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    Sorry to hear of your grief. ((Hugs))

  3. FrugalTexan75 Says:


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